Title:  Mermaid Avenue
Author:  Classic She
Rating:  Mature
Summary:  A concept that didn't work - bad fan fic
Author's Note: 

This one needs some explanation. There was a drabble challenge awhile back to write a West Wing drabble using one of the song titles from Wilco. Well, I started, then got what I then thought was an amazingly brilliant idea to write a series of drabbles for each song title on an album, and incorporate some of the lyrics of each song in the appropriate titled drabble, the lyrics being italicized..  Well, each  paragraph is 100 words, but. . .

It didn?t quite work.

So off it went to live in a quiet corner of my hard drive. Season 5 started and the specs and tirades on the boards re the quality of West Wing and the direction in which it was headed made me think of this abandoned drabble. So I got it out, added some POV indicators and decided to post it here.

Its weird, I know, Bad Fan Fic, but it was fun to write at the time, and its kind of amusing to what happens when a good idea goes bad..

---

Prologue - Sam's POV

As we drove to Josh?s, Donna spouted trivia while examining her newest CD.

"During the middle ages, mermaids served as the emblem of sin, the femme fatale - She became the nemesis of misogynists."

Misogynist - Josh in a nutshell.

Josh teases her, "O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note,

To drown me in thy sister?s flood of tears;

Sire, siren, for thyself and I will dote."

Even though I know, I ask. "Shakespeare?"

"Comedy of Errors"

How apt a description of our situation.

He, she, me. Our twisted relationships are a comedy of errors, a love triangle of sorts.

 

* * *

Walt Whitman?s Niece - Josh POV

A girl took down a book of poems

And as she read I laid my head

Down in her lap

I forget my pain,

I fought my despair,

I forget my loneliness,

I wonder if Sam can do the same.

And there I was, all night long

Laying and listening and forgetting the poems

I wonder if Sam feels my pain,

I wonder if Sam feel my despair,

I wonder if Sam cares,

I listen to Donna.

And it takes a night and a girl

And a book of this kind

A long long time to fine its way back

* * *

California Stars - Sam POV

I wonder where you are -

I?d love to feel

Your heart touching mine

And tell my why

I must keep working on

I was so disillusioned - you kept me going.

I?d like to dream

My troubles all away

On a bed of California stars

I miss you so much

I?d like to rest my heavy head tonight

On a bed of California stars

I?d like to lay my weary bones tonight

On a bed of California stars

Where did we go wrong?

So I?d give this world

Just to dream a dream with you

On our bed of California stars

* * *

Way Over Yonder in the Minor Key - Josh POV

Amy came to me.

I said, little girl, its plain to see

Ain?t nobody that can sing like me

Then she challenged me.

She said its hard for me to see

How one little boy got so ugly

Yes my little girly that might be

But there ain?t nobody that can sing like me

Laughing, she taunted me

Ain?t nobody that can sing like me?

Nobody can beat me

Congressmen and Senators

cringe at the sight of me.

I?ve led lots of girls since then to stray

Giggling she came on to me.

Ain?t nobody that can sing like me

* * *

Birds and Ships - Donna?s POV

Sam calls me, frequently,

to hear the latest gossip,

or so he says

The wind and sun

Are in the words you say

Where might your lonesome lover be?

I know, you know,

about Sam and Josh.

But I don?t let on.

By my soul is stormy

And my heart blows wild

My sweetheart rides a ship on the sea

He?s led me on,

for far too long.

As he?s done to Sam.

I?ve held out hope

for far too long

as has Sam.

Though my sold is stormy

And my heart blows wild

Where might my lonesome lover be?

* * *

Hoodoo Voodoo - Josh?s POV

Hoodoo, voodoo, chooka chooky choo choo

Misogynist?

How dare Donna call me that?

I love all you she cats.

Momma cat, Tommy cat

Pretty girl, pretty boy, pony on a tin can

I?ll be yours, you?ll be mine

Amy, how have you been?

Let?s go out, have a drink.

A night on the town.

Hoodoo, voodoo, chooka chooky choo choo

True blue, how true, kissle me now

Amy, another drink?

Hoodoo, voodoo, chooka chooky choo choo

True blue, how true, kissle me now

kissle me now

Amy, yes, I want you now.

Kissle me some more

Kissle me some more

 

* * *

She Came Along to Me - Josh?s POV

Women,

For brains and planning and organized thinking

I?m sure the women are equal

And they may be ahead of the men

But,

I wouldn?t spread such a rumor around

Cause one organizes the other

And sometimes the most lost and wasted

Attract the most balanced and sane

But,

And the wild and the reckless take up

With the clocked and the timed

And the mixture is all of us

And we?re still mixing

Yet, I?m torn

Never could it have been done

If the women hadn?t entered into the deal

Like she came along to me

Donna or Amy?

* * *?

At My Window Sad and Lonely - Sam?s POV

At my window, sad and lonely

Oft times do I think of thee

Sad and lonely and I wonder

Do you ever think of me?

Or do you only think of she?

Will you find another sweetheart

In some far and distant land

Sad and lonely now I wonder

If our boat will ever land

I keep in touch.

I hear rumours.

Are they true?

Ships may ply the stormy ocean

And planes may fly the stormy sky

I?m sad and lonely but remember

Oh I?ll love you till I die

Are you in love?

With Donna, Amy, or me?

* * *

Ingrid Bergman - Josh?s POV

You?re so perty

You?d make any mountain quiver

You?d make fire fly from the crater

I have wanted you for years,

yet, like Ingrid Bergman

you were unattainable

This old mountain it?s been waiting

All its life for you to work it

For your hand to touch its hard rock

I couldn?t believe you wanted me

If you?ll walk across my camera

I will flash the world your story,

I will pay you more than money

I will give you everything I have,

Amy, will you be mine?

Not by pennies dimes nor quarters

But with happy sons and daughters

* * *

Christ for President - Sam?s POV

Lies. All lies. Damned lies.

The only way

We could ever beat

These crooked politician men

All I asked you for was the truth.

Is to cast the moneychangers

Out of the temple

Put the Carpenter in

You mislead me.

In so many ways.

I believed you, in all said.

Oh its Jesus Christ our President

God above our kind

We will make hallelujah ring

You told me he was the real thing.

I trusted you.

But with the Carpenter

On the seat

Way up in the capital town

You lied. Mislead.

The USA

Be on the way

Prosperity bound

* * *

I Guess I Planted - Josh?s POV

I guess I planted some long lonesome seed of a song

And now I can?t remember when it was

But it joined up with the rest of them and grows

I know you don?t believe

You find it hard to conceive

It?s such a little song it don?t compare

With all your big ones you hear everywhere

But when it dawns way in the back of your ming

The big ones are made up of the little kind

I know this wasn?t planned,

But, be mine.

Hungry for the union

And so we kept on

Please, say you?ll be mine.

* * *

One by One - Donna?s POV

One by one my dreams are fading in the twilight

One by one my schemes are fading fast away

You say you have something to tell me.

One by one my hopes are vanishing in the clouds clear

One by one like snowflakes melting in the breeze

She is glowing.

One by one my dreams are fading fast away.

You are beaming.

One by one I hear the soft words that you whispered.

You announce you?re engaged

One by one I hope you?ll say the words to marry

One by one to one by one forever be

Why not me?

* * *

Eisler on the Go - Sam POV

Eisler on the go

Eisler on the move

Eisler - my outlandish pet name for you -

Don?t know what I?ll do

I don?t know what I?ll do

Occasionally, you?d leave in a fit

Find yourself a girl

Eisler?s on the come and go

And I don?t know what I?ll do

We both knew why you?d do it

To show me who was in control

And I don?t know what I?ll do

So I left you.

Don?t know what I?ll do

I don?t know what I?ll do

Now you call about Amy

With a presumptuous request -

Will I be your best man?

* * *

Hesitating Beauty - Amy POV

For your sparkling cocky smile I?ve walked a million miles

Begging you to come and wed me in the spring

Why do you dear delay

What makes you laugh and turn away

Josh, I hesitate to set the date,

In the hopes I might be wrong,

But I worry if you?re marrying me

Only because of the babe coming along.

Well I know you are itching to get married

And I know how I?m twitching for the same thing

By the stars and clouds above we can spend our lives in love

If you quit your hesitating

Next month? Fine.

* * *

Another Man?s Done Gone - Donna?s POV

Sometimes I think I?m gonna lose my mind

But it don?t look like I ever do

Did I ever love him?

Did he ever love me?

I?ve loves so many people everywhere I went

Some too much, and other?s not enough.

She looks so radiant.

He looks so content.

Well, I don?t know

I may go

Down or up or anywhere.

Does he love her?

Does she love him?

Or is it just because of the baby.?

So when you think of me, if and when you do,

Just say, "Well, another man?s done gone."

I deceive myself.

They do.

* * *

The Unwelcome Guest - Sam?s POV

I smile sardonically as the misogynist weds the feminist,

and pray for the offspring of this implausible union.

To take the bright silver
And gold you have taken
From somebody else

Radiant in their coitional egoistic hedonism

they are blissfully blind to the devastation they have caused

For you know and I know
How oftimes we go there
An unwelcome guest

I watch as Donna holds back her tears -

how could we have loved this narcissist?

An unwelcome guest

The words to the song echo in my mind

I?m the best man

yet I?m the unwanted guest

God Bless them.

* * *

Epilogue - Sam?s POV

?Teach me to hear Mermaids singing,

Or to keep off envies stinging."

The Faerie Queen, by Edmund Spense. My latest reading; five mermaids tempt the Knights of Temperance, they represent the temptations of the five senses.

My temptations?

Sight Josh

Hearing Josh

Taste Josh

Touch Josh

Smell Josh

"Once I sat upon a promontory,

And heard a mermaid on a dolphin?s back

Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath

That the rude sea grew civil at her song

And certain starts shot madly from their spheres,

To hear the sea-maid?s music."

-end-

Shakesphere, A Midsummer?s Night Dream

A love triangle.

Mermaid Avenue.

 ~~

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